How to Handle Anxiety Before Your Speech

The fear of public speaking remains very common largely because people don’t pursue experience with public speaking.  Lack of experience leads to fear of the experience.

 Photo by Wan San Yip on Unsplash

Anxiety Is Normal 

After hundreds of presentations, I still feel some anxiety before taking the stage. I will usually ask myself if I know  how I will begin with the audience, how I will conclude with the audience, and if I’m confident in the key points I will discuss. Then, based on my experience, I quickly and easily acknowledge that I do know these components and I then proceed.   

How To Manage Your Speech Anxiety

Consider in advance what will make you nervous before you take the stage and make a plan to confront each.  Here are some examples and approaches;

1.   Feeling unprepared

Make a speech plan. This may be a fully written text, but much better in my experience is to simply map the topics you wish to speak on.  A map makes it much easier to make adjustments to sequence and allows you to mentally rehearse each element without committing to specific words and sentences in a text.

2.   Forgetting material

Your audience will never know if you forget material. Still, I advise to never memorize precise sentences or passages.  Know exactly what you will talk about, not exactly what you will say.  For example, if talking with your work team you might note that you’ll talk about recent team results, plans for the next quarter, and some successful team behaviors that you’re recently observed. 

3.   Feeling unpracticed.

Find some opportunities to practice the entire presentation or portions of the presentation. When you’re comfortable with your plan, you will be able to go lightly or heavily for certain portions, ideally based on audience knowledge and response. Get to a position where you believe you know your plan, you know your material, you know what you’ll talk about and you know you’re ready.  

4.   Believing Your Plan Will Go Awry

Chances are your plan will go awry. An audience member may assert a question, a microphone fails, a door loudly slams shut etc. Expect something will interrupt you and be confident you can manage the disruption.

5.    Feeling Stage Struck Upon Your Entrance

This is very manageable.  Arrive 30 minutes before your presentation, walk the stage, check out any audio or visual needs and requirements, and envision a full room. In this way you’ve already experienced the stage and minimized the risk of surprises. 

6.    Believing The Audience is Better Informed than You

Chances are someone in the audience is in fact better informed than you. However, they haven’t had your experiences, or engaged in your thoughts and reflections on the topic.  Share yourself – the audience does not want to hear you recite a text book. Share your experiences, reflections and learnings, and how these developed.  

7.   A Past Failure

A past presentation that did not go as your hoped isn’t a failure, although I acknowledge some will feel so. Most people will celebrate that you took the risk and made a presentation. The past is the past, and we learn from the past.  Simply prepare for success with your next presentation.

 

Conclusion

Anxiety before a presentation is normal. Some anxiety indicates you care about doing well and making an impact – never lose that. You can prepare in advance and manage the roots of most presentation anxiety.

 

 

 

Empathy And Drive

Can you clearly exhibit both empathy and a drive to succeed when you serve in a leadership position?  A study from Zenger-Folkman, linked below, indicates these attributes are not mutually exclusive and when a leader possesses both, team performance soars.  

 

Too Much Empathy Or Drive? 

However, is it possible to exhibit an excess of either drive or empathy?  Of course.  An excessive focus on driving results will suggest a leader doesn’t care about team members, their well-being or development. 

An overemphasis on empathy suggests results and performance may be sacrificed and suggests a tendency to try to always make every employee happy - which is impossible.

As an example, I am aware of a manager who always granted requests for additional vacation days beyond allocations seemingly without consideration of the impact on the team and other employees. This was very detrimental to team morale and performance.

Personal Reflection 

When I reflect on my work and consider feedback from 360 reviews, I’m sure I exhibit publicly a greater focus on drive. I’m confident that one-on-one, privately, I am adept at listening, showing respect, and being empathetic.  

This said, I continue to believe that in many organizations, more focus on results is required, although not at the expense of empathy and respect for the humans who are employed with the organization. Organizations and teams are assembled to achieve a purpose and results. Leaders achieve results.

 Zenger-Folkman Study

The Zenger-Folkman study indicates

 

Only 15% of leaders excel at both

empathy and drive. Those who master

this balance rank in the 91st percentile

for overall leadership effectiveness.

 

The  full report is available here. Other competencies highlighted include AI and digital literacy, continuous development, and purpose-driven leadership

https://zengerfolkman.com/ebooks/leadership-skills-2025-report/

 

How To Develop Empathy

The following is a good primer on developing empathy. One of the five tips offered in the article is to not commiserate, that is to not jump in and agree with a viewpoint expressed. This requires very good skills in listening and effectively  seeking to understand a point of view.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/wander-woman/201911/5-steps-for-developing-real-empathy

 

Exhibiting Empathy In Team Meetings

There are many fine resources available on the topic of integrating empathy during team meetings. The link below provides advice on including personal check-ins and personally showing doubts and vulnerability. I’ve made some adjustments to my approach as a result of this advice. There is a balance between showing confidence that the team will achieve its’ purpose, and showing some concern about progress.

https://realitypathing.com/how-to-integrate-empathy-in-daily-team-meetings/

 

Conclusion

The study I’ve quoted from Zenger-Folkman indicates only 15% of leaders excel at both empathy and drive.

Opportunities are immense for these 15%.

 

 

Achieving Results - Vicky Mboko Hates To Lose

Last month I read an article on skill development and job retention. The link from Zenger Folkman is available below.

The content providers at Zenger Folkman consistently offer thought provoking material. This article states;

“Employees (who demonstrate) unwavering determination to achieve timely, high-quality results earn their managers’ respect. Those who find ways to deliver despite challenges distinguish themselves from peers who accept defeat when facing obstacles.”

https://zengerfolkman.com/articles/7-actions-that-will-keep-you-from-being-laid-off-in-todays-uncertain-economy/

Unwavering Determination of Tennis Pro Vicky Mboko

I thought about the attribute of “unwavering determination” as I watched the Canadian Open tennis tournament (currently branded as the National Bank Open) during August 2025. I attended a couple of days in-person and watched some of the coverage on television.  18-year-old Canadian Vicky Mboko made a huge statement, defeating world #2 Coco Gauff to proceed into the final rounds, and then ultimately winning the tournament by defeating 4-time Grand Slam champion Naomi Osaka.

Vicky Mboko Hates To Lose

Throughout the coverage TV commentators said that from a young age Mboko hated to lose. That’s a helpful attribute for a tennis pro, although it does need a modicum of management in a team environment. Tennis is generally a one-on-one game, but there are many team competitions including doubles competitions. 

Even the best tennis pros lose lots of games, but as a fan, I appreciate those who try to find a way to win regardless, within the confines of the rules of course. Over his entire career retired professional Roger Federer won 80% of his matches, but only 52% of the points recorded during those matches.  When the opportunity to win was there, he found a way to win. 

Watch this point that Mboko saved when Osaka nonchalantly made a shot she thought was an easy winner.  (The link should take you to the 01:44 location in the highlights)  

 

https://youtu.be/Y_osTDk5wUo?si=YVjlqvvoyAz4OkUf&t=6232

  

Can You Train Someone To Hate Losing?

In the sports world it seems some players seem just fine with losing.  Some try their best, but things don’t work out.

As a team leader, can we train people to hate losing?  When leaders recognize and reward helpful behaviors then those behaviors will be copied and repeated by team members. I think of this as training someone to win, which is different than training someone to hate to lose.

Here’s one point of view on the topic https://transformativesalessystems.com/blogs/love-to-win-vs-hate-to-lose-unveiling-the-mindset-dichotomy/

 

Competitions For Teams

There are some competitions where everyone can win, that is, by achieving a minimum level of performance.  I have a lot of respect for these sorts of competitions and participants who help others achieve.

In most sports competitions, achievement is ranked with one winner on top of the heap. In business and other team environments, contributors who “demonstrate unwavering determination to achieve timely, high-quality results” are exceptionally valuable to their teams.

 

Demonstrating Unwavering Determination

It is critical to team performance, that all members understand team goals, whether assigned or self-selected. Team leaders must regularly communicate team targets, progress, and behaviors that will enable the team to “win.”

Here is a previous post on the topic

https://gycz.blogspot.com/2023/08/how-to-focus-your-distracted-team.html

Is “Hating To Lose” A Bad Attribute?

Hating to lose could be seen as a negative attribute.  When managed effectively and behavior directed towards team success, it’s an incredibly positive attribute.

 

 

 

 

Courage and Perceived Risks

During a recent Toastmasters cohort, we discussed courage as it relates to public speaking and other risks we choose to take, or to avoid. Here are some of my observations from that day.

 

Professional Hockey

My friend Jordan Owens is a member of our Rising Tide Toastmasters cohort. Jordan played professional hockey for 12 years, six in the American Hockey League and six in European Leagues.

When he spoke about summoning courage he shared a story about joining a new team (Grand Rapids Griffins), and feeling a need to make an impression in his first game with the team.

 In the rough and tough world of pro hockey, Jordan decided to spark his team by starting a fight with the biggest guy on the other team. Fans will recognize the name Ryan Reaves, and that’s with whom Jordan picked a fight in order to make an impact.

 Jordan has a YouTube channel (A Tribe Called Owens) and he shares the speech and some reflections at the link below. You’ll enjoy his content. I particularly liked how he speaks about developing his speaking skills through time and conscious effort, and reflects on protecting the physical and metaphysical.

 Jordan’s post on his speech, and his actual speech, are available here  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5y_yInbSsGk

  

A New Audience 

Later that same day I was scheduled to train some young women who are delivering talks in the community on mental health, so I invited Jordan to attend with me and offer to that audience a longer version of his impromptu speech, and his experience getting acquainted with Ryan Reeves. I saw the speech as relevant to these young women who are embracing public speaking and risk when they speak about a subject important for so many people.  

When we veer from the familiar and easy path it will often be perceived as courage by others. Jordan didn’t need to try to spark his new team by starting a fight, but he showed physical and metaphysical courage to initiate that confrontation. His motivation to risk, and exhibit courage, was driven by a need to make an impression and a contribution to his new team.

  

Skeleton Racing

The discussion on courage caused me to speak and publicly reflect on some reactions to my skeleton sled race in March 2025 at Whistler, British Columbia. I’m still delighted with the experience and now YouTube often presents me with opportunities to view past skeleton races. With two runs under my belt, I now feel unjustly qualified to assess and critique the paths that racers choose, and their start and steering techniques.

I wrote about my experience here https://gycz.blogspot.com/2025/04/92-kilometershour-head-first-skeleton.html

I have been surprised by people who have said I was “brave” to race down the skeleton track. I enjoyed the experience, but I was only driven by curiosity and simply paid a fee to take an unnecessary risk to understand the experience and sensations.

I don’t view my participation as “brave” or courageous. I reflect that once on the track, on a sled with no brakes guided only by my body weight and gravity to propel the sled down the track, I simply followed the basic instructions to get through the experience safely. While I don’t view it as courageous, some interpret it as such. My motivation was curiosity and my actions once in motion were for self-preservation.

I suppose merely taking action in some situations can be viewed as courageous by others. I suppose in some situations appropriate inaction can be courageous.

 

Public Speaking and Courage  

A simple definition of courage is to take a worthwhile risk. Some materials indicate there are six types of courage: physical, social, moral, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. These are some compelling categories in 2025.

As our cohort discussed courage, many participants spoke about public speaking. Public speaking is a skill.  Developing a new skill is a risk and undoubtedly requires courage.

Once the skill is developed, using the skill requires some courage.

Speaking about a difficult message absolutely requires courage and skill.

 

 

Free Book Promo June 6-June 9, 2025

From June 6, 2025 until June 9, 2025, I am offering a free book promo on the subject of Lead Better Meetings, Get Better Results.

I run these promos usually to support a presentation I’m delivering, as the book content delves deeper into the concepts and principles I discuss in the presentation, and this promo has value for those in attendance. I am delivering such a presentation later today.

I’ve written four books and this is the single title that is only in e-book format.  I decided to publish this as an e-book as the content is brief, although the content is very good.

In my experience, a very slim physical book doesn’t look appealing. I did, and do, believe this content was and is worth sharing, thus the e-book only format.

Feel free to enjoy this short term offer available here http://tiny.cc/BetterMeetings

Reviews and comments are appreciated and helpful. 

GYCZ – We Focus On Our Flaws, Not Strengths

  

Sharing this post because it’s such a thought provoking read. I have had the experience described in the excerpt below.

“When a leader gets a 360 feedback report from his or her direct reports, peers, manager, and others, his or her natural instinct is to skim past positive ratings and comments and look at “where I need to improve.” Zenger Folkman research shows unless there’s a fatal flaw needing immediate attention, this is off track. The best that MIGHT happen is the leader raises a few of his or her competencies from poor to average.”

The article recommends focusing on competencies that truly drive results in various disciplines, and emphasizing these.

I find the content from the Clemmer Group and their associates at Zenger Folkman to be consistently high quality.

 

Link to the article here

https://www.clemmergroup.com/articles/leadership-competency-models-many-failing-make-flourish/

 

92 Kilometers/Hour Head First Skeleton Run

In February, 2025, I attended the 53^rd FIL Luge World Championships in Whistler, British Columbia. Highlights of the event are available here

(https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8B0YVf_mLDybUfVRnBrlO5zxU9AuI1YW&si=AABMUv2q0GdSj25r)

How could you not have curiosity about this sport and the athletes who reach speeds in excess of 150 kilometers an hour on a track of pure ice. The chance to see the championships in Canada was too good for me to pass on.

 

Like most Canadian kids I grew up sliding during winter on our crazy carpets and toboggans, but I’m sure I never reached speeds of 150 kilometers an hour, although we didn’t have devices to measure back in the day.

 

Personal Rush: March 23, 2025 at Whistler Sliding Center

Watching these racers in February, many of them Olympians, was fun and inspiring.  So inspiring that I decided to give the track a run myself in March.  For $249 you can experience the Olympic track at the Whistler Sliding Center during winter– but not during the world championships.

Here is the beginning of my first run (Notice how quickly I hit the wall, and lose speed and direction)

https://youtube.com/shorts/bex7MmUH3yk?feature=share

 

For the price of entry, you can experience two runs with a bobsledder, or solo on a luge, or solo on a skeleton. I decided to go full bore, head first, on the skeleton.  It’s the same icy sliding track, but the risk varies.  Skeleton I was told is the safest. I suspect that’s because a bobsled is quite wide for the narrow sections and does require some steering skill, and the skeleton is slimmer in design. Therefore, if you trust gravity, you will do fine.

On the skeleton sled, so named because of the body hugging snug fit, it easy to look up, and peek at the track, even though we were advised to keep our heads down and look at the ice. When your big, heavy head is down you have less wind resistance and more weight forward, which helps manage the path. If we wanted to peek, we were advised to only crane our necks slightly.

The advice I heard three times that day was “act like a sack of potatoes.” Sounds easy. But unlike a sack of potatoes, I peeked and then skidded around on the icy track quite a bit at 92 kilometers an hour.   

Lessons

1.   Women Follow Instructions – Men Should Too

In our briefing we were told women are usually fastest because they follow instructions, and it was true. Eleven of us enjoyed the experience that day. Lorene was fastest at 97.1 km/hour.  I was slowest at 92.0 km/hour.  Lorene finished the track in 33.57 seconds, and I finished in 35.28 seconds.

(Lorene told me she was from Alaska and often runs a toboggan on 10-minute runs on snowmobile trails, so she had some relevant experience).

 

2.   Do Less to Achieve More

The advice at the Whistler Sliding Center was to “act like a sack of potatoes,” to trust gravity and the sled. But I had to peek from time to time at the frequent fast and scary turns.  Peeking slowed me down and caused me to drift off course. Lifting the head causes slight wind resistance and a subtle shift in weight distribution over the sled.

 

Sometimes it’s best to do less, and to trust the plan and the process. The pros have enough experience to know how to touch a toe or lift a shoulder to affect a turn. I didn’t. I should have stared down at the ice during my two 38 second runs.

 

3.   Act and Avoid Regret

I’ll offer more comments in the conclusion.

 

Conclusion

People have asked if I’d do this again, and I would. I likely won’t be back there, but I would gladly give it another run. I felt compelled to have this experience, and now I’ve done it.  I know what it feels like, and I’m a satisfied customer.

I recommend this experience if you’d enjoy a roller coaster-like experience on an 80-pound metal sled where you’re held in place by your hands and your body weight, you are comfortable knowing there are no brakes, and knowing if you fall off the sled it will continue forward without you for a while, until gravity pulls it back down the slope towards you at a high speed. For example, see https://youtu.be/i9eGpz5-MmI?si=IGWJS1iEamFn-hZg

I would have regretted not completing this experience this year. I had to shift some commitments around to enable this to happen in 2025. I’m glad I did. I would have had regrets if I had missed this opportunity.