GYCZ Ski Day. Ego Gets in the Way

On Friday, March 17^th I enjoyed a glorious ski day at Poley Mountain (https://www.poleymountain.com/)  in nearby Sussex, New Brunswick.  The sky was clear, the temperature hovered around the freezing mark, and the sun was strong. Often when the sun is strong and temperatures relatively warm, the snow conditions deteriorate quickly and become slushy, but conditions this day were still very good when I left at 1:45 p.m. It was a dream ski day.  So much so that I shared some photos on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp5oW0BO2yp/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y%3D

Learning to Ski and Ego

The next day I bumped into a friend, Matt, at a coffee shop.  I had seen him Friday from afar in the ski lodge.  He had also enjoyed the great conditions at Poley. We chatted about ski experiences, and I mentioned that I had lived in Sussex, the ski town, for four years when I was in my 30s and that’s when I learned to ski. He had learned while he was very young. I found in my 30s that I was quite slow to learn, and I’m convinced that the main reason for that is my ego got in the way of my development.

For example, I remember one day when I was on the hill, quaking in my skis, my legs aching, and gripping a small spruce tree to steady myself while I avoided pointing my skis down the hill and just giving it a go, learning to control my speed, and learning to ski. 

While I stood there pulling on that poor little tree, a group of kids roared down the hill past me laughing, screaming, and flying past without even the aid of ski poles. They were having a great time and learning quickly. They were unconcerned with my plight.

Two of the kids fell. They laughed uproariously, and then continued down the hill to catch up with their friends.

I didn’t want to fall in the snow. And worse, I didn’t want people I knew to see me fall and then see me struggle to get back on my feet. Getting back to upright, on a slope, wearing skis, is an accomplishment in itself.

In time, I did learn to ski well, but not as quickly as I could have had I pushed my ego out of my way.  

Ego in the Way of Skill Development

I reflect on my development as a skier because I believe that ego gets in the way of much adult learning, for example with the skill of public speaking.  Many people feel they are supposed to be competent and confident at preparing and delivering speeches. Most of these folks have achieved other significant successes, but avoid public speaking of any sort.  I view public speaking as a skill, just like skiing is a skill.

Few professionals need to be competent skiers, but most professionals should have reasonable public speaking skills. I’m sure there are some people who are naturals at public speaking, but for most of us, it’s a learned skill developed through observation, some acquisition of knowledge and techniques, practice of the skill, and supportive feedback and coaching.

If this resonates with you, I encourage you to contact and then visit a local Toastmasters club (www.toastmasters.org) and observe the learning atmosphere.  There is no obligation to join and I expect you’ll be impressed with the structured, yet friendly and supportive experiential learning environment. 

GYCZ - Self Care and Stronger Personal Connections

My sister Janet writes a blog focused on care givers. I particularly like this post on successful connections

https://carefullconnections.blogspot.com/2023/02/y-ou-managing-changes-you-see-in.html

GYCZ – Speech Purpose Drives Speech Content

 

Recently I worked with a small group to make their speeches more impactful.  In these types of engagements, I make clear to attendees that speech purpose should determine their speech content.  Sometimes, that’s an absolute revelation for attendees. I don’t believe there’s any subtlety to the statement, but to be absolutely clear, if you have twenty elements of knowledge on a topic, a clearly defined purpose will enable you to select only the relevant points to include for a specific audience.

Importance of a Clear Purpose

 A clear purpose makes it easy for an audience to process and comprehend a message. Every speaker should strive to make his or her speech simple and clear for the audience. If the message isn’t received by the audience, then communication does not take place. 

To increase effective message delivery, I advise these steps for speech planning;

1.     Identify all possible speaking points

2.     Define the purpose of your speech

3.     Select the speaking points that support your speech purpose

Identify All Possible Speaking Points

Once you have a general theme for a speech, I suggest you capture on one piece of paper all possible content you could address within the theme. I use the bubble technique to capture all possible speaking points.  The bubble technique is a creativity approach that I favor. Once the diagram is complete, set it aside for a day or so. 

Here is a sample visual of a bubble diagram https://www.edrawsoft.com/templates/images/risk-management-bubble-diagram.png

For example, suppose you were preparing a speech about sales. A bubble diagram could include elements such as your job experience, funnels, prospecting, customer knowledge, comparison shopping, B2B, B2C, decision making, trust, needs analysis, call planning and more.  Quite a quantity to speak on. 

 Every time you revisit the bubble diagram, you might add a few more bubbles. In this sales example, maybe you’ll add open-ended questions and clarifying objections.  

Be Confident That You Have Sufficient Material

A bubble diagram should get you to a point where you believe you have more than enough possible speaking points and usable content. As you prepare the bubble diagram, I advise you avoid self-editing, correcting grammar and punctuation, and simply let your creativity flow. The purpose of creativity tools is to unlock creativity. Editing will slow your creative flow. The diagram is not your final product, only a tool to help you develop your final product.

Too Much Material for an Audience

A bubble diagram will reveal many speaking points.  Usually, it will uncover too much material to speak on, although some speakers will try to speak to all. However, when someone tries to share everything, the lack of a clear purpose will require the audience to discern the speech purpose.  Speakers need to make listening easy for an audience, with a clear purpose, and a minimum of non-words, like ‘um’ and ‘ah’, so the audience does not need to work to filter as they listen.

Define the Purpose of Your Speech

To define purpose, you can ask yourself this question;

 What do I want this specific audience to think about differently, or to do as a result of my speech.

Select Your Speaking Points

Once you have answered this question, then select specific speaking points from the bubble diagram that support your purpose. You can then begin practicing, or formally writing a document or an outline.

I usually use just an outline of speaking points and then aim to talk to each point for two to three minutes.  Therefore, six points that I talk on for two minutes each lasts about twelve minutes.  If I speak to each for three minutes the content amounts to eighteen minutes. With a brief opening and brief conclusion of another couple of minutes each, in which I introduce and then reinforce the purpose of the talk, the product is ready for practice and delivery.  I rarely fully write my speeches and instead use such an outline that enables me to practice the points out loud or in my head. This enables me to be more conversational when presenting. 

You Pick the Speech Title

When I’m invited to speak, I usually ask the host to assign me a title. When she suggests a title, that offers clarity on the impact the host wants from my talk. When I’m invited, it’s usually because of my experience in leadership, public speaking, sales and marketing. It’s unlikely that the host will suggest a title and theme that varies from these topics.  When I’m invited to speak it’s because someone saw me speak and liked my content, style, or audience engagement. When I understand why I have been invited, this helps set a general theme for my talk. An assigned title offers further clarity.

 

Conclusion

I’ve experienced presentations that have left me confused about what the speaker wanted to achieve with the audience.  You likely have as well. After such presentations, I’ve actually said “what was the purpose of that?”

To reduce the possibility that your speech purpose isn’t clear, I reinforce these steps;

1.     Define all possible speaking points

2.     Define the purpose of your speech

3.     Select the speaking points that support your speech purpose