A Simple Networking Tip

Over the past few years, I’ve served as a mentor for some newcomers to Saint John.  I’m paired with newcomers typically because of my background in public speaking, and experience in communication and leadership. Locals are often well immersed in, but unaware, of our subtleties in our communication styles and social habits. Newcomers work hard to pick up on cues and are eager to learn and fit in.

Mentoring & the Topic of Networking

A common discussion I have with newcomers is about networking.  Newcomers know it’s important, but they’re usually uncomfortable with the approach, and unsure how to begin. I offer them an approach, and a simple plan to execute. These are described later in this post.  I also let them know that most people are uncomfortable with networking.

I can’t think of many people who are comfortable networking. Usually in group settings people will find some friends or acquaintances and huddle with that group for the duration of an event. It is usually difficult to be invited into these huddles as they’ve established comfortable cocoons.

My Approach

While it’s comfortable to find friends and acquaintances and huddle with them, that doesn’t expand one’s network.

My approach when networking at events is as follows;

1. Don’t approach groups unless invited. They’ve congregated for some reason and have likely engaged in a discussion about shared interests and experiences, and it’s difficult to gain access. Usually. Groups of two can be an exception.

2. Watch for eye contact. If someone in a group or standing alone makes eye contact, take that as a cue that they may welcome a conversation. So, walk over, smile, say “Hi I’m so-and-so, what brings you to this event?” This question invites conversation on your first common experience of being at the same event. Their response will likely provide fodder for some further polite questions appropriate for networking.

3. People standing alone. These people are usually good choices for starting a conversation. They too may be feeling awkward about networking, or simply waiting for a friend or partner to return. Regardless, they’re a good choice for exercising your networking skills. Walk over, smile, say “Hi I’m so-and-so, what brings you to the event?”

Finding Follow-up Questions

Once you ask what brings someone to an event, their response will likely offer opportunity for polite follow-up questions. Here are some responses I’ve heard, and follow-up questions as I recall them.

Response 1: “Oh my company is sponsoring the event and my boss wanted to make sure we had people in attendance.”

Follow-up 1: “Oh do you attend these sorts of events frequently with your company?”

Follow-up 1 alternate: “What was the last event you attended prior to this one?” (This is a better follow-up as it is an open- ended question, that is, can’t be answered with a ‘yes’ or ‘no.’)

 

Response 2: “My wife is speaking at the event later and she dragged me here.”

Follow-up 2: “Interesting. Why was she chosen to speak at the event?”

 

Response 3: “I support the agency hosting the event and just showed up to support them tonight.”

Follow-up 3: “Fantastic. What draws you to their cause?”

 

A Simple Plan I Use at Networking Events

I like to use simple plans and structures for many communication scenarios. Here’s an approach to networking;

1.  Walk into the room and get a non-alcoholic drink. This provides you an opportunity to scan the audience as you approach the service and walk through the room

2.  Identify a few individuals, or groups of two, that appear approachable

3.  Once you have a beverage in your hand, start approaching prospects for conversation

4.  Your right hand should be free. In North American business settings, we’ll usually shake hands on introduction. Your right hand should be available

5.  Walk over, smile, say “Hi I’m so-and-so, what brings you to this event?” Listen for opportunities in their answer for polite follow-up questions.

 

Questions That Are Off-Limits

In all societies there are questions that are off limit. In my travels I have had some questions that were outside of my cultural experience and comfort zone.  For example, I have been asked “how much money do you earn?”

 I later learned that this question indicates that the person asking believes the other to be an important person, with a prestigious position, and therefore a significant salary.

It’s a learning process, but it’s best to observe and learn from other conversations.

 

Conclusion

Most people are uncomfortable with the process of networking.  Yet, most people recognize the value of expanding their network, or simply being kind to others who look uncomfortable.

The more successful you are at engaging in brief networking conversations, the more conversations you’ll be invited into.

Other Approaches

Here are some other ideas on networking from Harvard Business Review.

https://hbr.org/2022/11/a-better-approach-to-networking