How To Explore Your Experiences and Develop Your Stories

You likely have some great experiences and stories that illustrate tremendous lessons for audiences. However, you’ve likely discounted the value of some of your experiences. I often have.  I’ll offer an example, and how I then brought the story to life, and how you can do similar.

My Example - Las Vegas – Stratosphere – Team Building   

A few years ago, I discovered a video I had saved and then forgotten. When I reexperienced the video, I realized it illustrates a very good story, with a good lesson.

In 2015, I was one of several people at a team-building event in Las Vegas where we all jumped from the 829-foot tower at the Stratosphere Hotel. Our event was designed as a team-building experience for senior elected leaders of Toastmasters International. Prior to our business meetings, we would sometimes plan a team-building event. Prior to these meetings, the team members would arrive from various parts of the world, and before conducting business, we’d do something relaxing and fun together. When it was my choice, I took the team curling in Connecticut.  Nothing too scary.

Team building events are valuable.  People get to know one another more casually, and sometimes learn how others respond under stress or performance expectations. For example, one common team-building exercise requires teams to use tools like popsicle sticks, pens and pencils to build the tallest tower possible. That’s a good test of ingenuity.  Another requires teams to rank the most prestigious jobs, or sequence the most valuable items to have when you’re lost at sea. These are good tests of listening and the ability to negotiate decisions.

I wasn’t enamoured with the jump as a team activity. As I saw it, we would individually jump from the tower, taking our turn among dozens of other paying customers.  As we waited, I was quite impatient watching various other customers, when I would glance up to see someone just standing on the platform, not jumping, and holding up production. Apparently, they were unaware of the work I had to complete later that day. I silently stared and encouraged them with “just jump and get this over with.” Not out loud, of course.  (Perhaps there is some team-building lesson in my behavior that day)

Then my turn came. Quickly I felt the anxiety. Here is the video https://youtu.be/E7U64OV0iVU

 

A Realization Years Later

I completed the jump that day, as did the other members of our team. We all purchased the commemorative videos recorded by cameras strapped to our wrists. I saved my video as provided in the link.

And that was that. The jump was completed and I let the video sit, ignoring it, until one day YouTube presented it to me in their list of suggested videos.  When I watched it again, I realized the 90-second video illustrates very well a concept I present when training on leadership. The core concept is from Situational Leadership by Paul Hersey and Ken Blanchard.

A core concept in situational leadership is assessing a follower’s “task maturity,” that is, the follower’s experience with the specific task. Not general maturity, not overall maturity, not any history of achievement or success, but specific task maturity.

When there is little task maturity, the leader should tell the team member what to do. That’s not disrespectful, that’s early-stage development of a team member.

Unsurprisingly, I had zero experience jumping from a tall tower, and needed clear instructions on what precisely to do. I had zero task maturity. Also I was nervous.

In the video, I don’t believe I show many signs of nervousness, but there are some signs.  For example, my short answers of compliance with a brief “k.” I fail to execute simple instructions such as putting both hands on the left rail.  Pretty simple.  I needed to be told twice. I was nervous.

The attendant was managing her business, safety, and throughput, but also instructing a nervous newbie on how to succeed in his jump. And as you can see, I did.

Situational leadership provides a model for assessing task maturity, and behaving appropriately as a leader.  The video shows the behavior of a leader telling a newbie precisely what to do, and the newbie nervously completing this type of task for the first time in his life.

Lesson for Story Tellers

The broader lesson here, aside from situational leadership, and which I’ve amplified in some recent presentations, is that we all have stories that we believe are not significant, or that we simply ignore. However, there is often significance should we probe a little deeper. I had forgotten my Stratosphere experience, and rediscovered that it had good value.

How To Mine Your Experiences and Develop Your Stories

1.    Anytime you talk with a friend or colleague about an experience with any degree of passion, make a note in your phone or a booklet. Often, you’ll start these stories with “this reminds of me of the time …”

2.    When you note the story, note the lessons too.  In my example the lessons are situational leadership, recognizing nervous behavior, assessing task maturity, managing safety, and likely some others.

3.    Tell the story and test it with a friend or colleague. They may see additional value or lessons, and will ask questions that will add clarity to your re-telling.

4.    Add drama and embellish.  Keep your story largely true but, in a speech, you tell a story to make a point.  Make it memorable. 

 

Your Stories

You might be discounting the value of some of your experiences. I encourage you to mine your experiences for great stories and illustrative lessons.