GYCZ - How To Say Something When You Don't Know What To Say

How would you answer the following questions?

1. Tell me about yourself?

2. What are your weaknesses?

3. Why is there a gap in your employment history?

4. Why should we hire you?

5. What do you know about our company?

6. Tell me about a difficult situation you handled in the past?

7. What is your greatest accomplishment as a leader?

These are familiar styled questions that are common during job interviews.  These are not the style of questions most people manage on a day-to-day basis. Answering this sort of question can be awkward. I find a familiar, well-practiced structure makes it easier to manage these sorts of questions. 

In the video link below, I summarize this approach of Past-Present-Future at the 14-minute mark. The video was recorded during a presentation to the University of New Brunswick (UNB) Alumni Association.  I completed a Bachelor of Business Administration degree in 1993, and then a Masters in Business Administration in 2013, both at UNB. I’m proud to be an alumnus of UNB.  

The video is available here 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XObo__ETXI

If you’d like to support the UNB Alumni association with me, please visit https://www.unb.ca/alumni/

Familiar Structures 

Familiar structures and routines can help us manage difficult speaking situations, and leadership encounters. Stephen Covey popularized the concept of “Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood.”  Hersey and Blanchard provided the Situational Leadership model to shape how leaders interact with developing employees. 

I don’t recall how I discovered the Past-Present-Future model, but I continue to find it exceptionally useful.  I can quickly draft a speech using this model, or answer a question for which I’m unprepared. 

An Example of Past-Present-Future

For example, if asked “what are your weaknesses,” one approach could be;

1. Early in my career I was reluctant to request assistance 

2. I’ve learned it’s fine to ask for help for new tasks, or to simply confirm my planned approach for a new task

3. I believe I have more opportunity to assist people in their development simply by helping them understand this, and I feel I could do more to mentor others in this aspect.

An approach like past-present-future gives the respondent comfort and confidence, and the listener hears structure, and hears organization.  

Simple, familiar structures provide comfort when used.  

Neurodiversity, Public Speaking and Toastmasters

In September 2022, I presented to the Neurodiverse Leadership Toastmasters club (https://www.facebook.com/NeurodiverseLeadersTM/), an online club which was started by their New York City based founders.

Neurodiversity

At this Toastmasters club, participants from around the world meet to not only further develop their communication and leadership skills, but additionally with the purpose of discussing neurodiversity in society.

Anyone is eligible to visit this club and become a member.  People who participate include people neurodivergent, people with neurodiverse family members, and people other enabled.

It is estimated that 20% of the world population is neurodivergent. Another quantity has a friend, a colleague or a loved one who processes information in an atypical manner.   While a web search indicates many successful people are neurodivergent, estimates indicate 85% of those neurodivergent are unemployed (North American statistics).

My Speech to the Club

I was invited to speak because of my role as past president and board chair of L’Arche Saint John (https://larchesaintjohn.org/), part of L’Arche International. The mission of L’Arche is to make known the gifts of people with intellectual disability. I spoke to the club on the topic of not-for-profit leadership, a valuable topic to assist in organizing teams to achieve results.

Improved Communication, Leadership and More

There is great power when motivated people meet regularly in a Toastmasters club with goals to not only further develop their communication and leadership skills, but to advance shared goals and ambitions.

Neurodiversity Defined

Neurodiversity is a framework for understanding human brain function and conditions such as autism, ADHD, and dyslexia, among others. The framework indicates that diversity in human cognition is normal and that some conditions classified as mental disorders are differences and disabilities that are not necessarily difficult to manage. (Definition adapted from The World Health Organization https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/mental-disorders).

 

Link to Recording

Below is a link to the 75-minute recording of the meeting. The club has performed some editing of the content. The meeting presented is typical of any Toastmasters meeting with prepared speeches, impromptu speaking practice (table topics) in this example exploring questions on public relations, inclusion, teaching empathy and more, and group and individual feedback.

https://youtu.be/mUaxZioVkUw?si=MVsmoM56bpdnJ17y

For Further Interest

 

https://www.ceotodaymagazine.com/2022/06/10-highly-successful-people-you-didnt-know-were-neurodivergent/

 

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-neurodivergence-and-what-does-it-mean-to-be-neurodivergent-5196627

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

69% of Managers Won’t Communicate With Their Team?

I’ve been reading The Song of Significance by Seth Godin. The book is organized into 144 very short chapters. He writes so well and offers such thought provoking material.

Chapter 92 is titled Work to Be Done where Godin quotes Lou Solomon from a Harvard Business Review study that indicates 69% of managers are uncomfortable with the essential need of communicating with their employees. Godin writes that he believes many of the other 31% are lying.

My Early Experience Leading Teams

My memory of early experiences leading teams is imperfect, but I do recall being particularly uncomfortable getting started with team communication. How should one organize an initial meeting?

I found, or created, a simple model that I’ve used ever since for beginning team meetings. It’s effective for grounding teams on shared goals, and promoting behaviors and habits we want to see repeated.  The model focuses on Goals-Progress-Behaviors (GPB).

After pleasantries and recognizing significant personal achievements or circumstances, I always start meetings with this model;

1.  Goals and Why

a.  These are the team goals and why they were selected or assigned

2.  Progress

a.  This is the team’s progress toward these goals.  This usually involves looking at a scorecard of some sort

3.  Behaviors

a.  These are actions or behaviors that specific team members are taking and are contributing to goal achievement. The not too subtle message is that this is the sort of effort that will be recognized, and we’d like to see team members do more of this type of activity.

4.  Next steps

a.  A discussion of what actions and behaviors will help the team reach the scorecard goals

5.  Anything and everything else

 

I’ve been invited to speak on this topic several times. Once after presenting I decided to document the process further in a book. I wrote and made available an e-book available here on Amazon sites worldwide including at this link https://a.co/d/6szUOEt

I also wrote a blog post on recognizing the opportunity to write the book https://gycz.blogspot.com/2022/05/listening-paying-attention-opportunity.html

 

Conclusion

The estimate that 69% of managers are uncomfortable communicating with their team members seems high to me. But Godin has written 78 books and sold million of copies, many more than me.

As in most situations, some simple, repeatable models and approaches can make this task easier for developing managers. 

 

 

Recent Work With Emerging Sales Leaders

In late January, I was invited to work with some emerging sales leaders at a local branch of a major international firm. The company identifies high potential employees and then has the attendees progress through a series of weekly meetings focused on skill development and skill practice.

I was invited as the first presenter on the topic of public speaking because public speaking is a broad, foundational skill.  In the business environment, public speaking encompasses formal speeches, off-the-cuff commentary, participation in team meetings, professionally voicing differing opinions, and to some extent even small talk. In the sales environment, effective communication includes addressing objections with a prospect who isn’t sure she needs your product or service.

My Training Approach

I led the group through some basics including asserting their credentials, a basic speech structure that is adaptable for any speech but especially off-the-cuff commentary, with some tips on managing nerves, content selection, and preparing longer presentations. I ended with a video I use to illustrate the art of recognizing personal stories that support other content. Audience members remember solid, illustrative stories.  I wrote about finding stories here https://gycz.blogspot.com/2022/10/comfort-zone-leap-from-829-feet-great.html

Adapting to the People in the Room

It was a pleasure to lead these dozen employees through a one-hour workshop. It’s fun to lead sessions such as these.  This was the first time these attendees had gathered as a group, and surprisingly to me, most didn’t know each other. Some had been with the company 7 months and some 26 years.

With smaller groups, early in the engagement, I usually invite brief participant introductions for my benefit and the benefit of all attendees. During this session we later built in some round table public speaking practice, which offered an opportunity for more thorough introductions. 

My simple question inviting this was “how were you selected for this development program?” Some of the attendees were very nervous to answer this, while seated around the table, within their supportive team.  All of them survived the exercise, and all sounded credible and professional, although some judge themselves critically.

Conclusion

It used to surprise me to encounter people who feel they should be skilled at public speaking, but they’re not currently confident in their abilities. People will make comments such as “I’m terrible at public speaking.”  

It no longer surprises me to hear such comments. I work hard to remind these folks that public speaking is a skill, and if they haven’t had the opportunity to practice the skill, there is no reason that they should feel bad about lacking the skill.

Skills need practice.  The best athletes in the world practice basic skills. Public speaking is a skill that requires regular practice.

 

 

A Simple Networking Tip

Over the past few years, I’ve served as a mentor for some newcomers to Saint John.  I’m paired with newcomers typically because of my background in public speaking, and experience in communication and leadership. Locals are often well immersed in, but unaware, of our subtleties in our communication styles and social habits. Newcomers work hard to pick up on cues and are eager to learn and fit in.

Mentoring & the Topic of Networking

A common discussion I have with newcomers is about networking.  Newcomers know it’s important, but they’re usually uncomfortable with the approach, and unsure how to begin. I offer them an approach, and a simple plan to execute. These are described later in this post.  I also let them know that most people are uncomfortable with networking.

I can’t think of many people who are comfortable networking. Usually in group settings people will find some friends or acquaintances and huddle with that group for the duration of an event. It is usually difficult to be invited into these huddles as they’ve established comfortable cocoons.

My Approach

While it’s comfortable to find friends and acquaintances and huddle with them, that doesn’t expand one’s network.

My approach when networking at events is as follows;

1. Don’t approach groups unless invited. They’ve congregated for some reason and have likely engaged in a discussion about shared interests and experiences, and it’s difficult to gain access. Usually. Groups of two can be an exception.

2. Watch for eye contact. If someone in a group or standing alone makes eye contact, take that as a cue that they may welcome a conversation. So, walk over, smile, say “Hi I’m so-and-so, what brings you to this event?” This question invites conversation on your first common experience of being at the same event. Their response will likely provide fodder for some further polite questions appropriate for networking.

3. People standing alone. These people are usually good choices for starting a conversation. They too may be feeling awkward about networking, or simply waiting for a friend or partner to return. Regardless, they’re a good choice for exercising your networking skills. Walk over, smile, say “Hi I’m so-and-so, what brings you to the event?”

Finding Follow-up Questions

Once you ask what brings someone to an event, their response will likely offer opportunity for polite follow-up questions. Here are some responses I’ve heard, and follow-up questions as I recall them.

Response 1: “Oh my company is sponsoring the event and my boss wanted to make sure we had people in attendance.”

Follow-up 1: “Oh do you attend these sorts of events frequently with your company?”

Follow-up 1 alternate: “What was the last event you attended prior to this one?” (This is a better follow-up as it is an open- ended question, that is, can’t be answered with a ‘yes’ or ‘no.’)

 

Response 2: “My wife is speaking at the event later and she dragged me here.”

Follow-up 2: “Interesting. Why was she chosen to speak at the event?”

 

Response 3: “I support the agency hosting the event and just showed up to support them tonight.”

Follow-up 3: “Fantastic. What draws you to their cause?”

 

A Simple Plan I Use at Networking Events

I like to use simple plans and structures for many communication scenarios. Here’s an approach to networking;

1.  Walk into the room and get a non-alcoholic drink. This provides you an opportunity to scan the audience as you approach the service and walk through the room

2.  Identify a few individuals, or groups of two, that appear approachable

3.  Once you have a beverage in your hand, start approaching prospects for conversation

4.  Your right hand should be free. In North American business settings, we’ll usually shake hands on introduction. Your right hand should be available

5.  Walk over, smile, say “Hi I’m so-and-so, what brings you to this event?” Listen for opportunities in their answer for polite follow-up questions.

 

Questions That Are Off-Limits

In all societies there are questions that are off limit. In my travels I have had some questions that were outside of my cultural experience and comfort zone.  For example, I have been asked “how much money do you earn?”

 I later learned that this question indicates that the person asking believes the other to be an important person, with a prestigious position, and therefore a significant salary.

It’s a learning process, but it’s best to observe and learn from other conversations.

 

Conclusion

Most people are uncomfortable with the process of networking.  Yet, most people recognize the value of expanding their network, or simply being kind to others who look uncomfortable.

The more successful you are at engaging in brief networking conversations, the more conversations you’ll be invited into.

Other Approaches

Here are some other ideas on networking from Harvard Business Review.

https://hbr.org/2022/11/a-better-approach-to-networking

 

The Wolf of Wall Street & Audience Analysis

Selecting the right message for a given audience can save much discomfort for a speaker.  There is a scene in The Wolf of Wall Street that illustrates this well.

The Book and Movie

A few months ago, I was walking through my library and saw a display of books. Prominently displayed was The Wolf of Wall Street, which is a memoir from Jordan Belfort, a former stockbroker, a convicted financial criminal, and now speaker and author. I checked the book out from the library, read it, and later watched the movie.

Both the book and movie are too long in my opinion, and there are some significant differences between the movie and book. Both are entertaining, but at times credibility is stretched significantly. To test if my skepticism was reasonable, I searched other reviews and opinions and many support my disbelief of some details.  

For example, in the book, there is a scene where Belfort’s rented yacht is sinking in Italy, and as he, his wife and others are about to be rescued by helicopter, he and his wife lightheartedly joke about needing to shop for clothes later. It’s hard to imagine that dialogue, and any levity, taking place in such a moment. There are many more examples of exaggeration and embellishment.  

Further Details

Belfort’s story is amazing for many reasons. More detail is available here if you have more interest.

https://www.looper.com/866224/everything-the-wolf-of-wall-street-doesnt-tell-you-about-the-true-story/

 

Public Speaking Examples

I was entertained and very interested in the public speaking scenes. Belfort was, and I’m sure remains, a very persuasive speaker. His style isn’t my style, but his approach is undoubtedly effective with his audiences.

In one scene entrepreneur Steve Madden addresses Belfort’s brokers, Belfort’s sales staff, and the scene is fascinating in its illustration of audience analysis and engagement. It’s a great example of poor audience analysis and lack of readiness.

In the scene, Belfort’s firm is about to take Madden’s self-named shoe company public, in an IPO offering, selling Madden shares to their clients. Belfort brings Madden to the office to pump up the sales team and get them ready to promote and sell the shares that are about to be released to the public. Big money is at stake.

Madden begins meekly with a self-introduction, but the audience already knew his name and that he was the founder of the company. Somebody in the impatient audience shouts “we already know your name!” Not a strong start.

Madden then delves into trivialities of shoe design and manufacture. The audience starts throwing wads of paper at him.  Belfort steps forward, gracefully moves Madden aside, acknowledges his comments and his work, and then takes over the presentation building the sales team into a greed-inspired frenzy. He understands his audience and speaks about how much money the members of the sales team are about to earn.

We might not agree on the motivations, but this remains a great example of understanding an audience, meeting their energy level, and delivering an appropriate message.

 

Three Questions For Audience Analysis  

Here are some questions for any speaker to consider before any engagement;

1.   Why am I invited to address this group?

2.   What is my sponsor’s desired outcome with this specific audience?

3.   How do I assess the audience energy level and meet them where they’re at? Immediately before speaking, assess the energy level of the audience and work to be compatible. You can then take the energy level elsewhere, but try to avoid a mismatch of energy.

 

More On Audience Analysis

I wrote previously about audience analysis here https://gycz.blogspot.com/2023/11/short-cut-to-audience-analysis.html

 

Conclusion

Choosing the appropriate message for a specific audience will save a speaker from an uncomfortable interaction.  This requires some time before finalizing any remarks, but is well worth this effort.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Entrepreneur Magazine Interview and "I Can't Share My Screen"

In 2016, I was interviewed for the article linked below in Entrepreneur magazine. The content remains relevant today because these tips support the skill of public speaking. I expect the content will remain relevant forever, because any skill requires regular practice supported by helpful tips, a knowledge base and developmental feedback. 

 

https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/283385

 

“I Can’t Seem To Share My Screen”

A core skill for presenters these days is the ability to present online. The best athletes in the world consistently practice core skills, and similarly, people who wish to be very good public speakers need to find opportunities to exercise their core speaking skills and receive feedback to refine their abilities.

If I could add one item the list published, it would be advice on the use of slides, particularly in this time of Zoom, Teams and other online platforms.  

There has been tremendous growth in the quantity of meetings conducted online, and the skills of online presenters have advanced. However, I still see presenters wait their turn at the virtual podium only to discover once introduced that they are unable to project their screen or display their slides in a manner that works well for their audience.

In the article I mention to arrive early, and now I will add to test the online setup before the meeting formally begins. Arrive early, share your screen before the meeting begins, ensure you can advance your slides, and then stop your screen share.  

When I present online, I arrive early and I won’t ask for permission, I will simply and quickly share, confirm that the material displays, that the slides advance, and then I’m ready.  If I do require some assistance, I can request that as the meeting has not formally begun. If I don’t require assistance, my hosts and I are comforted that I am ready to present when called upon.

Use of Slides In General

In most cases, when I’m using slides to support my message, I will request that someone other than me manage and advance my slides during the meeting. This way I can send the slides to another attendee well in advance and then I only need to say “next slide please” for the slides to advance.  It’s like magic.

I like this approach when presenting online, but also in person.  While I will have my laptop available just in case, if I can rely on someone else to manage projectors, cables, online platforms, battery strength, wi-fi, and other aspects then my life is simplified.  

Conclusion 

Public speaking is a skill. Skills require regular practice, a base of knowledge and feedback on strengths and opportunities for development.  Technical tools related to public speaking will continue to evolve, and skilled speakers will continue to stay informed and develop their capabilities.

 

Other Content

Here’s another valuable article from Entrepreneur magazine

https://www.entrepreneur.com/en-ae/leadership/five-tips-to-communicate-better-as-a-leader/276637