A Simple Networking Tip

Over the past few years, I’ve served as a mentor for some newcomers to Saint John.  I’m paired with newcomers typically because of my background in public speaking, and experience in communication and leadership. Locals are often well immersed in, but unaware, of our subtleties in our communication styles and social habits. Newcomers work hard to pick up on cues and are eager to learn and fit in.

Mentoring & the Topic of Networking

A common discussion I have with newcomers is about networking.  Newcomers know it’s important, but they’re usually uncomfortable with the approach, and unsure how to begin. I offer them an approach, and a simple plan to execute. These are described later in this post.  I also let them know that most people are uncomfortable with networking.

I can’t think of many people who are comfortable networking. Usually in group settings people will find some friends or acquaintances and huddle with that group for the duration of an event. It is usually difficult to be invited into these huddles as they’ve established comfortable cocoons.

My Approach

While it’s comfortable to find friends and acquaintances and huddle with them, that doesn’t expand one’s network.

My approach when networking at events is as follows;

1. Don’t approach groups unless invited. They’ve congregated for some reason and have likely engaged in a discussion about shared interests and experiences, and it’s difficult to gain access. Usually. Groups of two can be an exception.

2. Watch for eye contact. If someone in a group or standing alone makes eye contact, take that as a cue that they may welcome a conversation. So, walk over, smile, say “Hi I’m so-and-so, what brings you to this event?” This question invites conversation on your first common experience of being at the same event. Their response will likely provide fodder for some further polite questions appropriate for networking.

3. People standing alone. These people are usually good choices for starting a conversation. They too may be feeling awkward about networking, or simply waiting for a friend or partner to return. Regardless, they’re a good choice for exercising your networking skills. Walk over, smile, say “Hi I’m so-and-so, what brings you to the event?”

Finding Follow-up Questions

Once you ask what brings someone to an event, their response will likely offer opportunity for polite follow-up questions. Here are some responses I’ve heard, and follow-up questions as I recall them.

Response 1: “Oh my company is sponsoring the event and my boss wanted to make sure we had people in attendance.”

Follow-up 1: “Oh do you attend these sorts of events frequently with your company?”

Follow-up 1 alternate: “What was the last event you attended prior to this one?” (This is a better follow-up as it is an open- ended question, that is, can’t be answered with a ‘yes’ or ‘no.’)

 

Response 2: “My wife is speaking at the event later and she dragged me here.”

Follow-up 2: “Interesting. Why was she chosen to speak at the event?”

 

Response 3: “I support the agency hosting the event and just showed up to support them tonight.”

Follow-up 3: “Fantastic. What draws you to their cause?”

 

A Simple Plan I Use at Networking Events

I like to use simple plans and structures for many communication scenarios. Here’s an approach to networking;

1.  Walk into the room and get a non-alcoholic drink. This provides you an opportunity to scan the audience as you approach the service and walk through the room

2.  Identify a few individuals, or groups of two, that appear approachable

3.  Once you have a beverage in your hand, start approaching prospects for conversation

4.  Your right hand should be free. In North American business settings, we’ll usually shake hands on introduction. Your right hand should be available

5.  Walk over, smile, say “Hi I’m so-and-so, what brings you to this event?” Listen for opportunities in their answer for polite follow-up questions.

 

Questions That Are Off-Limits

In all societies there are questions that are off limit. In my travels I have had some questions that were outside of my cultural experience and comfort zone.  For example, I have been asked “how much money do you earn?”

 I later learned that this question indicates that the person asking believes the other to be an important person, with a prestigious position, and therefore a significant salary.

It’s a learning process, but it’s best to observe and learn from other conversations.

 

Conclusion

Most people are uncomfortable with the process of networking.  Yet, most people recognize the value of expanding their network, or simply being kind to others who look uncomfortable.

The more successful you are at engaging in brief networking conversations, the more conversations you’ll be invited into.

Other Approaches

Here are some other ideas on networking from Harvard Business Review.

https://hbr.org/2022/11/a-better-approach-to-networking

 

The Wolf of Wall Street & Audience Analysis

Selecting the right message for a given audience can save much discomfort for a speaker.  There is a scene in The Wolf of Wall Street that illustrates this well.

The Book and Movie

A few months ago, I was walking through my library and saw a display of books. Prominently displayed was The Wolf of Wall Street, which is a memoir from Jordan Belfort, a former stockbroker, a convicted financial criminal, and now speaker and author. I checked the book out from the library, read it, and later watched the movie.

Both the book and movie are too long in my opinion, and there are some significant differences between the movie and book. Both are entertaining, but at times credibility is stretched significantly. To test if my skepticism was reasonable, I searched other reviews and opinions and many support my disbelief of some details.  

For example, in the book, there is a scene where Belfort’s rented yacht is sinking in Italy, and as he, his wife and others are about to be rescued by helicopter, he and his wife lightheartedly joke about needing to shop for clothes later. It’s hard to imagine that dialogue, and any levity, taking place in such a moment. There are many more examples of exaggeration and embellishment.  

Further Details

Belfort’s story is amazing for many reasons. More detail is available here if you have more interest.

https://www.looper.com/866224/everything-the-wolf-of-wall-street-doesnt-tell-you-about-the-true-story/

 

Public Speaking Examples

I was entertained and very interested in the public speaking scenes. Belfort was, and I’m sure remains, a very persuasive speaker. His style isn’t my style, but his approach is undoubtedly effective with his audiences.

In one scene entrepreneur Steve Madden addresses Belfort’s brokers, Belfort’s sales staff, and the scene is fascinating in its illustration of audience analysis and engagement. It’s a great example of poor audience analysis and lack of readiness.

In the scene, Belfort’s firm is about to take Madden’s self-named shoe company public, in an IPO offering, selling Madden shares to their clients. Belfort brings Madden to the office to pump up the sales team and get them ready to promote and sell the shares that are about to be released to the public. Big money is at stake.

Madden begins meekly with a self-introduction, but the audience already knew his name and that he was the founder of the company. Somebody in the impatient audience shouts “we already know your name!” Not a strong start.

Madden then delves into trivialities of shoe design and manufacture. The audience starts throwing wads of paper at him.  Belfort steps forward, gracefully moves Madden aside, acknowledges his comments and his work, and then takes over the presentation building the sales team into a greed-inspired frenzy. He understands his audience and speaks about how much money the members of the sales team are about to earn.

We might not agree on the motivations, but this remains a great example of understanding an audience, meeting their energy level, and delivering an appropriate message.

 

Three Questions For Audience Analysis  

Here are some questions for any speaker to consider before any engagement;

1.   Why am I invited to address this group?

2.   What is my sponsor’s desired outcome with this specific audience?

3.   How do I assess the audience energy level and meet them where they’re at? Immediately before speaking, assess the energy level of the audience and work to be compatible. You can then take the energy level elsewhere, but try to avoid a mismatch of energy.

 

More On Audience Analysis

I wrote previously about audience analysis here https://gycz.blogspot.com/2023/11/short-cut-to-audience-analysis.html

 

Conclusion

Choosing the appropriate message for a specific audience will save a speaker from an uncomfortable interaction.  This requires some time before finalizing any remarks, but is well worth this effort.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Entrepreneur Magazine Interview and "I Can't Share My Screen"

In 2016, I was interviewed for the article linked below in Entrepreneur magazine. The content remains relevant today because these tips support the skill of public speaking. I expect the content will remain relevant forever, because any skill requires regular practice supported by helpful tips, a knowledge base and developmental feedback. 

 

https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/283385

 

“I Can’t Seem To Share My Screen”

A core skill for presenters these days is the ability to present online. The best athletes in the world consistently practice core skills, and similarly, people who wish to be very good public speakers need to find opportunities to exercise their core speaking skills and receive feedback to refine their abilities.

If I could add one item the list published, it would be advice on the use of slides, particularly in this time of Zoom, Teams and other online platforms.  

There has been tremendous growth in the quantity of meetings conducted online, and the skills of online presenters have advanced. However, I still see presenters wait their turn at the virtual podium only to discover once introduced that they are unable to project their screen or display their slides in a manner that works well for their audience.

In the article I mention to arrive early, and now I will add to test the online setup before the meeting formally begins. Arrive early, share your screen before the meeting begins, ensure you can advance your slides, and then stop your screen share.  

When I present online, I arrive early and I won’t ask for permission, I will simply and quickly share, confirm that the material displays, that the slides advance, and then I’m ready.  If I do require some assistance, I can request that as the meeting has not formally begun. If I don’t require assistance, my hosts and I are comforted that I am ready to present when called upon.

Use of Slides In General

In most cases, when I’m using slides to support my message, I will request that someone other than me manage and advance my slides during the meeting. This way I can send the slides to another attendee well in advance and then I only need to say “next slide please” for the slides to advance.  It’s like magic.

I like this approach when presenting online, but also in person.  While I will have my laptop available just in case, if I can rely on someone else to manage projectors, cables, online platforms, battery strength, wi-fi, and other aspects then my life is simplified.  

Conclusion 

Public speaking is a skill. Skills require regular practice, a base of knowledge and feedback on strengths and opportunities for development.  Technical tools related to public speaking will continue to evolve, and skilled speakers will continue to stay informed and develop their capabilities.

 

Other Content

Here’s another valuable article from Entrepreneur magazine

https://www.entrepreneur.com/en-ae/leadership/five-tips-to-communicate-better-as-a-leader/276637

 

 

Free Book December 29, 2023 - January 2, 2024

My book Lead Better Meetings: Get Better Results is available free on a Amazon.com promotion from Friday, December 29, 2023, 12:00 AM PST until Tuesday, January 2, 2024, 11:59 PM PST.  Here is a link to the book https://a.co/d/iBMyTGk

 

The Original Inspiration For The Book

I was inspired to write Lead Better Meetings: Get Better Results after I was invited to speak to two groups about running more effective meetings and keeping work groups focused and engaged. New managers in particular will often struggle to get off to a good start with their teams. The book provides a simple, repeatable structure to start and manage meetings. The simple, repeatable structure may be all that is required for an agenda in many meetings.

After my presentation, I thought it would be worthwhile to capture the approach in a book.  So, I did that.

E-Book Only Format

The book is available in e-book format only. While I’m pleased with and proud of the content, there aren’t sufficient pages to justify publishing the content as a paperback. When a book has fewer than 100 pages, it doesn’t look professional as a skinny paperback.  Instead, it looks like a pamphlet.

 

Four Books In Four Years

I’ve now produced four books in four years, and am quite content if that’s where my published quantity of work remains, but inspiration will likely strike again. In April, I present to a group about managing conflict and difficult conversations.  That presentation is largely prepared already as I write this in December 2023, although I will continue to round and shape the material.  Perhaps I will be inspired to write my point of view on this topic. I did publish a blog post previously https://gycz.blogspot.com/2023/07/imagining-conflict-when-none-exists.html

A key concept in my approach to managing conflict is to test if it exists. Often people will perceive conflict, invent reasons why the perceived conflict exists, and manufacture weirdness in how the parties interact thereby further solidifying reasons why awkwardness, or perceived conflict, exists in the relationship.  In my opinion, a key aspect of professionalism is learning to ask, when a healthy working relationship is desired, if another person is upset.

 

Promotion Period

This e-book promotion runs from Friday, December 29, 2023, 12:00 AM PST until Tuesday, January 2, 2024, 11:59 PM PST at this link https://a.co/d/iBMyTGk.

Conclusion

Well executed team meetings are immensely helpful in focusing and enabling a team to achieve their goals. Meetings that aren’t well executed can be a colossal waste of time.

If you take advantage of this free book promotion, I hope you find value in the content. As a writer, comments and reviews are always welcome, although most readers neither comment or review. I am interested in comments and feedback whether positive or offering opportunity for clarification and improvement.

Additional opportunity for feedback is available here https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/20360994.Jim_Kokocki

 

A Gift Article About Reducing Meetings

Here is a gift link from my Washington Post subscription about a company that shook up their routine and reduced the number of recurring meetings they hold thereby gaining 11 hours of productive time per month

https://wapo.st/3GYGYFk

How to Offer a Toast or Inspiration

 Have you ever been called upon to offer an end of year toast, or other such inspiration?

The Christmas holiday season is ideal for practicing and exercising this skill at dinner with family or friends, or at a workplace event.  A toast typically honors a person or a group of people. It’s a simple yet urbane method to show gratitude and celebrate camaraderie.  It’s best to be brief. There is no need to stand awkwardly holding a glass for a long period of time. Be concise.   

Here is a simple formula that requires little to no preparation.

 

How to Offer a Toast at any Occasion

1.    When you notice a brief lull in the conversation tap your glass with a fork several times to get everyone’s attention

2.    Stand and proclaim “I’d like to offer a toast”

a.    Acknowledge one, two or three achievements from the year passed. This could be an achievement by someone in attendance, or a group achievement.  For example, a friend or family member may have received a promotion or bought their first house. A co-worker may have achieved a significant work anniversary, or had a baby. Be prepared with your examples.

b.    Give thanks for the opportunity to be together at this moment. Celebrate this moment where you can socialize with friends, family or co-workers.  

c.     Offer best wishes to all during the upcoming twelve months. You might single out one or two individuals who have major events in the next twelve months.

d.    End with ‘let’s raise our glasses to …”

For example, “let’s raise our glasses to more friendship, camaraderie, and success in the next twelve months.”  

3.    Sit down and enjoy your contribution to group camaraderie

 

For further reading on the art of the toast please visit https://www.scienceofpeople.com/toasts/

And

 https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/often-manly-history-toasting-bring-back/

Middle East magazine - Anyone Can Become An Effective Public Speaker

Anyone can become an effective public speaker, as this article states. I’m quoted extensively in this article published in 2016. The content remains relevant

https://www.ceo-middleeast.com/ceo/ten-steps-become-better-public-speaker-652066-html

Short Cut To Audience Analysis

Recently I was working with a speaker who was scheduled to deliver a keynote-style speech at a regional event. To practice for the big event, she planned a trial run of her content with a smaller audience.

When she and I talked, I asked her to clarify the relevance of her speech for the smaller audience.  She said that she simply had a prepared text she needed to deliver to the larger audience, so this was a chance to practice the material before this smaller audience. I encouraged her to spend some time considering the attendees at the smaller audience, and then plan some small adjustments to shape her content for that audience. 

She later told me her trial run went exceptionally well, as did her presentation to the regional group.

To improve the relevance of your topic with an audience, some audience analysis can be very useful.

Enable The Audience To See Relevance of Your Topic

Any speech delivered to any audience must have meaning for the attendees. Why would anybody speak about a topic that has no meaning for the members of the audience?

A speaker and/or introducer should make the relevance of the topic very clear as the presentation begins. This enables the audience to organize and process the speech content. Please invest some time to empower your audience to process your message.

You can invest a great deal of time on audience analysis considering age, demographics, psychographics, and many other factors. Or you can take this short cut with the event organizer or person who invited you to speak.

Audience Analysis Short-Cut

To better understand your expected audience, simply have a conversation with the person responsible for the quality of the event.  For example, I’m often asked to speak on topics of leadership and public speaking. A common discussion I have with event organizers sounds similar to this;

“So, you’ve asked me to speak about leadership. Are there any particular areas you’d like to see covered?”

“Just basic leadership.”

“Ok, do the attendees lead people now?”

“Some do, but most are high potential employees developing into possible leadership positions.”

“OK, so what sort of jobs do your attendees perform in your company?”

“It’s a mix, but there is a large contingent from IT and accounting.”

“I see. What sorts of attributes or behavior shows that one of your developing employees shows potential?”

“That’s mostly based on feedback from other leaders. As well, we invest a lot in community development, and often employees who take part in planning and running these events show potential.”

“Interesting.  Do these events have significant budgets?”

“Not usually, but sometimes.”

“Should I touch on financial management?”

“Maybe a little.”

“OK based on this is there anything you’d like me to emphasize about leadership?”

“I suppose I’d like to see more people get involved in the early planning of these events. That shares the workload, and provides an opportunity to showcase their talents.”

“Perfect. Thanks. Anything else?”

Conversation Analysis

A brief conversation such as this helps the organizer focus on her objectives, enables me to better understand those objectives, and enables me to review my notes later and then direct some of my content for better value to the organizer. As the event draws near, I like to review my plan with the organizers.

In preparing such a presentation I’d draw on my experience, and theoretical concepts to quickly draft an outline. Here’s an example;

1.    Set the stage – Clearly introduce the topic and objectives

2.    Round table introductions (small group)

3.    My background;

a.    Toastmasters International, L’Arche, other volunteer work, family endowment fund, corporate background

b.    Emphasize professionally presenting one’s credentials

4.    Contrast management versus leadership – Blanchard

5.    Discuss Situational Leadership – Hersey-Blanchard

6.    Comment on financial measures and reporting

7.    Introduce a Model for a Basic Leadership Speech

8.    Etc

 

Summary

You can spend a great deal of time on audience analysis. Or you can simply have a brief, well-focused conversation with your event organizers. Our world needs more and more simple, direct conversations.

An event organizer, or whoever invited you to speak, wants you to do well, because then she’ll get great feedback and be praised for her wisdom in inviting you.  Engage with the event organizer.

A few simple questions as I’ve illustrated will help you better understand the audience the host expects to have in the room.  It might also help him or her clarify what they hope to see as an outcome from your speech.

Additional Viewpoint On Audience Analysis

Here is another point of view on audience analysis

https://ca.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/audience-analysis